All in the Name of Public Service

Garlic Rows, a photo by Taproot Garden on Flickr.

The expression on more than a few faces betrays the opinion that I have leaned toward excess. I have planted 7 rows of garlic -- something in excess of 130 feet of cloves securely nestled in well-manured soil and a canopy of mulch. This compares with a scant 6 feet planted for the season just past.

Let me just say that it wasn't nearly enough.

Besides, in addition to its culinary assets, garlic is proving itself to be something of a wonderkin. University studies are showing the pungeant little allium to help prevent heart disease, high cholesterol and high blood pressure, boost the immune system, and prevent cancer -- all this in addition to its long established virtues in scaring off vampires. Cautious gravediggers in 18th century France crushed garlic into wine in the belief that it would protect them from the plague, and soldiers fighting in both World Wars were prescribed garlic to prevent gangrene. There is some evidence that garlic may even help prevent the common cold -- this, in addition to killing roundworms and, when applied to the skin as a gel, treating ringworm, jock itch, and athlete's foot. Given its vibrant aromatic qualities, I'm guessing that such a gel would go a long way in preventing STD's, since social interaction of all sorts would necessarily be impaired. It wouldn't surprise me if further studies reveal that inadequate garlic cultivation is, in large measure, responsible for the enduring breakdown of world peace.

So, as you can see, I am merely doing my part for the betterment of humankind and global well-being. "Alliums for all!" "Cloves for Cultural Enhancement!" "Garlic, for Goodness Sake!"

Indeed, in light of all its virtues, my 7 puny rows don't sound like nearly enough.